she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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