We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think a kid would responsible me up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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