A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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