Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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