I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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