That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
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YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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