no, he came in my armpit
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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