we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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