he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.