i used baking grease as lip gloss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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