it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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