After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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