The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
