her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
