i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
