I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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