Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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