I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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