ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I just sharted jello shots
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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