I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize