cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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