can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
