I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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