life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
