I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
