I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
