Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
