I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I understand Curling. That high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
