I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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