I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
