It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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