So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
