Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
