I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
