Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
