Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
