Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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