btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
