I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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