i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
