also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize