im about as happy as oj after his trial
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
