hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
