Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
