Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
