the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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