Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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