Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize