you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Panties = found
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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