I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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