we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
