the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize