Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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