So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
