im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
