Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
