You just made me feel so damn special
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dignity is for republicans.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
