I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
