how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize