Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
im on a boat
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