Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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