found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
