NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
