Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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