take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
