I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
