$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
